Inspired by the irrepressible Mr Bone:
SIR MATHEW PINSENT of the OLD ETONIAN ROWING CLUB has stated that Trenton Oldfield was lucky that Sir Stephen Redgrave did not get hold of him. ‘When someone tried to protest at Henley a few years ago Stephen punched a whole in the side of their canoe with his bare fist’. OOOooooer…missus……………so comrades the challenge is laid down……….fiticuffs under Queensbery rules on the tideway at Henley….where’s Jeff Monson when we need him? Such advocation of criminal damage by a KNIGHT OF THE REALM is deplorable.We must not rise to the bait…………….FORWARD TO HENLEY JUNE 30TH 2012………….
Many of you have asked the meaning of ‘punching a hole in your canoe’ . I am therefore indebted to m’learned friend Dr. Dora Kaplan of the Dept. of Semantics at the university of GOOLE for this explanation:
‘Punching a hole in the canoe’ is upper class slang for anal sex with a fag or other minor. Cognate terms include ‘oriental embroidery’ and ‘making the eight.’ Oxbridge pederasts will never directly allude to the act of sexual abuse, and avoid legal problems by using esoteric euphemism in place of direct reference. For example:
“Last year at Henley got frightfully annoyed at some beastly roughs. When he got home he requisitioned a young Tarquin and punched a hole in the canoe, and right in the middle of the drawing room, too. His lady discovered him in flagrante delicto, and was incandescent. She still hadn’t forgiven him for making the eight with her youngest nephew last Chrsitmas. Dreadful business.”
Hope this clears it up.
Poster coming soon